A great buddy of mine, Dan, is not a car guy. He’s an incredibly talented comic artist who’s into nature, theater, and Lego kits. Even though he now lives in Texas, he’s also a fan of the food he used to enjoy in his hometown of Cincinnati, Ohio – especially a particular sandwich chain there. One week while we were roommates in Austin, Texas several years ago, I happened to be reviewing a 2018 Alfa Romeo 4C Coupe. Dan didn’t get a lot of chances to go back to visit his family and favorite haunts, so I thought I’d give him a taste of home. The 4C was an awful choice for the trip ahead, but it made for a story I’ll never forget.
Several months before we embarked on this pilgrimage, Dan told me one of the places in Cincinnati he missed the most was Penn Station East Coast Subs. A quick online search revealed there were three locations in Texas, but they were all in the Dallas area, about three hours from our apartment. We ended up making two or three journeys there in various press cars I reviewed, including a Ford F-150 Limited. That was a great vehicle for such a long trip; the 4C was a ridiculous car to take. That (aside from wanting to make my pal feel less homesick) was a major reason why I decided to do just that. When would I get another chance to do something so impractical and silly with a great friend in a mid-engine Italian sports car?
I had an idea of what to expect. Alfa introduced the two-seat 4C to the U.S. market as a 2015 model that combined Maserati craftsmanship with Alfa sports car proportions, flamboyant curves, and turbocharged four-cylinder power. I tested a 2015 4C Spider for a week and learned what a workout it could be. Alfa didn’t equip it with power steering, which meant I felt the road – and the ache in my shoulders when I flew through curves. But I didn’t rack up nearly as many miles in that as I ended up traveling in the 2018 coupe.
Even though Dan got a free ride to his favorite sub shop, he ended up paying for it in other ways. The 4C was built for speed, not comfort. Getting into it required both of us to extend a foot over the wide door sill and into the footwell, fold in half, tilt our heads, slide into our seats, and pull our other feet inside. Hours of straight-ahead driving on I-35’s imperfections made me realize how unpleasant the athletic double-wishbone front/MacPherson strut rear suspension could be. I had a hard time seeing what was behind me because a lot of my rear view was filled with the engine and the vents that flanked its transparent cover. Luckily, I was able to stay ahead of most traffic because the 237-horsepower, 258-lb-ft, turbocharged 1.7-liter I4 delivered its output with a strong punch while filling the cockpit with an addictive whistle and an aggressive, raspy bark.
By the time Dan and I returned to Austin later that afternoon (yes, I drove about six hours just for sandwiches), I had probably put 400 miles or so on the Alfa.
The journey hadn’t taught me my lesson.
I decided to push the figures on the odometer even higher by going with my girlfriend (now wife) Eli to see the massive Christmas lights display in Johnson City, a round trip of about 100 miles. The path there was better suited to the 4C’s handling talents, although I’m not sure Eli cared about that whenever we hit rough spots in the pavement.
As if putting hundreds of miles on such a purpose-built car wasn’t a big enough mistake, I then decided to use the 4C for small errands and coffee runs, which required multiple rounds of contortions to get in and out of the car and fighting the manual steering each time I entered or left a parking spot.
When my time with the 2018 Alfa Romeo 4C Coupe was up, I had covered more than 600 miles in just three days. I drove it until I hated all of the good things about it that I used to respect and enjoy. It was uncomfortable, loud, and inconvenient. I can see why people may use it as a second car for canyon carving or as a dedicated track toy. Those who choose one as a commuter car have my respect (and confusion). Out of all of the cars I’ve tested (with the exception of perhaps the BMW i3), the 4C was the worst car I could’ve chosen as a road warrior. But it was probably the best one I could’ve picked for an unforgettable story. I would’ve been coddled and content behind the wheel of a big, cushy S-Class, but I also probably wouldn’t have written about it because it was designed to consume long stretches of road in short amounts of time. The 4C was the perfect car to make bad decisions – and great memories – in.
